Sophistication

December 2013

At this point in her life Sophia considers ice cream a finger food, and thinks it is hilarious if you hide behind a couch.

There have been some advancements in her sophistication during this first year. For example, she is now more likely to turn the pages of a book, then to chew them.

Still there remains additional progress to be made. For instance, we expect someday she will find it less thrilling to throw food on the floor. At the same time, I hope that years from now she will enjoy a meal so much that part of it will again end up in her eyebrow.

For her first year of life, I primarily focused on her comfort and survival. Now I am becoming more aware of my role in teaching her how to become a civilized member of society. I am simultaneously excited and overwhelmed by all there is for her to learn. Until recently, she was unaware that putting your foot on the table while eating is frowned upon.

I am constantly weighing risks to safety while encouraging her to explore her world. I am realizing my potential to squelch her spirit in juxtaposition with my responsibility to guide her, as increasingly restrictive demands are placed on her behavior. 

Sometimes I struggle with not having a specific reason for requesting a more socially accepted behavior. Usually it comes down to two things: 1. A respect for other persons and 2. that it will help her to be able to relate with others. At times though I find it is simply about my own embarrassment if she isn't doing what others expect. 

She needs me to say "no", to show her where the boundaries are, to model how to use a spoon and a fork, but also to get messy with her, to be silly and to ultimately teach her that sophistication is not synonymous with driving a particular type of car or wearing a certain brand of clothes. The next goal is learning the difference between edible and non-edible objects.