Christmas 2017

Christmas is the most unsentimental, realistic way of looking at life. 

It does not say, “Cheer up! If we all pull together we can make the world a better place.

If you think Christianity is mainly going to church, believing a certain creed, and living a certain kind of life, then there will be no note of wonder and surprise.

The Bible never counsels indifference to the forces of darkness, only resistance, but it supports no illusions that we can defeat them ourselves.

 Christianity does not agree with the optimistic thinkers who say, “We can fix things if we try hard enough.” 

Nor does it agree with the pessimists who see only a dystopian future. 

The message of Christianity is, instead, “Things really are this bad, and we can’t heal or save ourselves.Things really are this dark—nevertheless, there is hope.”  

The Christmas message is that “on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.” 

There is light outside of this world, and Jesus has brought that light to save us; indeed, he is the Light (John 8:12).” 

― Timothy J. Keller, Hidden Christmas

Why Christmas?

Dear Sophia,

I told your four year old self that Santa Claus wasn't real and you didn't believe me.

You told me that wasn't true because you had seen him, and I love that about you.

I love your determination and belief in what you have seen despite even your Mama saying otherwise. 

As you look up at me with bright eyes, head adorned with tinseled garland, and wings peeking over your shoulders, I think about my prayer for what Christmas will someday mean to you. 

May you carry hope in your heart, even if others tell you there is no reason for it. 

May you foster peace, even if it disrupts the peace in your own life.

With each Christmas that you celebrate, may you continue to both experience and spread joy. Not a fleeting happiness based on circumstance, but a deep joy rooted in faith. 

And may you extend love to everyone, including those others have deemed unlovable, or the ones you sometimes find it the hardest to love.

Be generous with this love out of gratitude that there is nothing you can do to matter more or less to the one who loves you the most, the One that we celebrate at Christmas.

With hope, peace, joy, and love,

Mama

Thanksgiving 2017

Thanksgiving week began the Saturday before the holiday with our church family.

Monday was Sophia's Preschool Thanksgiving Feast:

Each student created a turkey feather with what they were thankful for:

 Wednesday, Nana & Bop-Bop visited the trucks and trains with us at Edaville.

Thursday morning we attended the 30th annual Thanksgiving Breakfast at Pageant Field with a marching band and Ocean View.

We warmed up by watching the parade and cooking a 24 lb turkey from our friends at the Sentas Farm.

Our friends Susan and Hazel joined us for the meal:

We ended the festive week on Friday evening with Sophia participating in a puppet show prior to the city tree lighting.

Rolling out the Rug

We recently participated in a lantern walk which was happening across the country to “welcome winter”. Sophia was delighted by the real flame of her lantern tea light, which she carried around the perimeter of the pond. I appreciated the opportunity to celebrate something I make conscious efforts not to dread. I love the changing of the seasons but, like many, struggle with the length of winter.

We unhooked the hammock from the front porch, and things I find satisfying during warmer weather, like walking to school and hanging the laundry on the line will be traded for indoor activities.

Another signifier of cooler weather was the rolling out of our living room rug, which we had tucked behind the couch in the spring when the floor didn’t require warming. Both children enjoyed the production of moving all of the furniture and witnessing a flood of red wool consume the wood.

Sophia quickly determined that this seemingly new open space was a stage. It was the window of time after dinner and before bedtime which we stretched longer than usual to enjoy being together on the couch while watching our daughter and son perform a mix of dancing, yoga, singing and storytelling.

I am ready to welcome more of the ‘rolling out the rug’ nights that winter brings. When that first snow comes we will drink hot chocolate while it falls and do it again every day it falls (I will have to keep reminding Sophia that we only do this when snow is actually falling, not every day that it is simply on the ground). We will curl up under blankets in front of fires and read the entire stack of library books in one sitting. We will bake with cinnamon to make the house smell good, because we will be spending quite a bit of time in this home over the next few months.

Come March we will be itching to shed our sweaters, but in November, and for as long as we can, we will savor what this season brings. The season of cold days inside a warm house with a four and two year old enchanted by the rolling out of rugs.

Uncle James and Aunt Rachael's Wedding

On Sunday October 29th, 2017, Rachael officially joined our family. 

We enjoyed the opportunity to see many friends and family, including our cousins from Louisiana (Benji pictured below with Sophia).

Joshua was the best man for the happy couple and Sophia delighted in her role as flower girl.

The evening concluded with a very active dance floor!

*Photo credits thank you to Lulu Reeks and Jeanni Trout

Pre-Reading

I've never taught a child to read.

 I was trained in literacy instruction but only ever applied it to teaching adults. I had the incredible privilege of seeing the world of a man in his seventies expand as we practiced sight words together. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my Mother asked me what I was most looking forward to about having children, and I answered, "reading to them".

I love the library for so many reasons.

The fresh enthusiasm of others reading books to my children, the book choices of the story time librarians and walking into a room filled with thousands of adventures and illustrations thrills me. I am inspired by the creativity of the crafts that sometimes accompany the theme and am grateful to not have to produce the ideas and materials on my own.

What we've done so far:

At their youngest, the only books we were able to interest our children in were those with textures. It is now my favorite baby shower gift to give because even tiny newborn fingers can be guided over soft or scratchy squares to begin to cultivate a life long sense that books are something of interest.

 Our son became too busy unless they were on one of his favorite topics. So we started bringing home books about trains, cars, motorcycles and trucks to encourage him to attend. He is also motivated by the opportunity to snuggle next to his Dada while being read a story.

As a pre-reader Sophia is also sometimes motivated by "reading" to her brother. And since he can't read either, he happily listens while she makes up a story about the pictures.

What we don't feel guilty about:

Because I love to read, I still try to find time to do it amidst life with a preschooler and a toddler. So, I will sit down and read an article while Sophia "reads" (looks at each page and tells herself the story). We each read what interests us, often while also snuggling together under a blanket.

During long car trips after her brother has fallen asleep, we also give Sophia audio tapes. During that time we enjoy finishing our sentences and hearing her suddenly laugh in the back seat at something that happened in her story.

What we've needed to change:

We had to cap the number of books Sophia can bring home from the library by what could fit in one bag, but she has the freedom to make selections from the children's section without censorship.

This has led to conversations about hard topics like divorce when she chose to bring home the book, "Monday, Wednesday, Friday and every other Weekend".

While we don't veto books, we have set a one book for each character limit. She can get a Calliou, and Dora and Arthur book, but not fifteen of any of them. I'm willing to read "Calliou's Thanksgiving" in July, but not twenty Calliou books in a given week.

Finally, children's literature has an understandable amount of goofiness. While we still bring plenty of that home, I have also encouraged the perusal of the non-fiction section. While she is learning obscure facts about worms, so am I.

When 4 becomes 5

We are currently licensed to foster two children ages 0-4. 

Right now this means one child in addition to our son, until he is officially an Archambault.

Two of the children we have fostered thus far have been closer in age to our daughter and two to our son. Importantly to Sophia, they have all been younger than her. The oldest little boy who came to us at age 4 in July was informed by Sophia that she was 4 1/2, two months after her 4th birthday.

Our house is easily adaptable to these tiny sojourners. The toys for this age are in our living room, the sippy cups in our cabinets and baby gate on our stairs. The portacrib has become a permanent fixture in Joshua's office, and there is a sadness followed by a hopeful prayer as I put clothes back in storage for whomever might visit us next.

Each time we've gone from four to five, our fifth family member has fallen into our rhythm. We go grocery shopping together, to church, and end our days reading stories. 

One weekend in particular, due to the easy going nature of the child and the annual Department of Children and Families Picnic, required few adjustments to the original plan. 

The cadets at the Mass Maritime Academy in Buzzards Bay treated our family to pumpkin painting, bouncy houses, tattoos, and sparkly pink nails for one of us.

We will miss this sweet boy and are grateful for the time we had with him.

Surprised by Wonder

When our home was added to the emergency foster care placement list,

I expected the bickering over toys that came when we had two four-year-olds, or over my lap when we had two almost two-year-olds. 

What has surprised me is the wonder.

I will be brushing my teeth or driving to work and find myself wondering about those who came and left our home. 

I wonder if he is having a good day (or moment)or if wherever she is makes sure she has her bear with her when she goes to bed. I wonder if they know how much she likes blueberries. And when each child is picked up from us, I include a note with details about such things as bears and blueberries. 

I catch myself wondering, even though I will never know the outcomes. 

I wonder about outcomes over which I have no control; I'm not even a character in those chapters of these children's lives.

It has been messy and beautiful and well worth the wondering.   

J's Second Birthday Letter

Dear J-Man, (nicknames include Jbird, JB and little man),

Your second year on Earth has once again been full of smiles. You have figured out that cameras and cell phones are used to take pictures and you often flash a goofy grin when someone wants to take your picture. Of course, you want to see it right after as well. You love to scroll through pictures on anyone’s cell phones that will let you, and like to pretend to make phone calls by holding the phone up to your ear.

While your words are still somewhat limited (Mama, Dada, and hot), you can clearly communicate with sign language, pointing, mock siren noises, and lots of umms, grunts and loud screams. We love how expressive you are becoming in every day interactions.

You love babies and often walk around the house looking for people to give hugs and kisses to in a rotating and repeating manner.

You want to interact with kids of all ages, even if that often comes in the form of too hard hugs, pinching of cheeks and bonks on the head these days. You run most places, and often have a matchbox car in your hand.

Your love for things that move is deep. Trains top the list, with buses, trucks, planes, and motorcycles as favorites as well. You love to point out planes in the sky and run straight to the front door to see passing trains.

You like to alert others around you that there is a train or plane by patting their arm and pointing, and often pat the ground next to you when you want someone to join you sitting down to watch what interests you, or join you in playing. I hope this desire to invite others into your world remains as you grow older. I feel grateful every time you have extended the invitation to me.

These days spray bottles, grabbing anything on the kitchen counter, buckles, and books about trucks fill your days. Carolyn Thompson remains a favorite at church and you hang out with her on Thursdays.

We pray that as spoken language comes, your caring nature translates into your words.

We thank God for the blessing of last year, and look forward to more to celebrate next year.

Love,

Dada

Camping 2017

For years we have been looking forward to going to 'family camp' but this was the first time our children seemed to be the minimum age to really participate. This August we joined the family of a former professor of mine/current marriage mentors of ours (as well as about 200 others)for a week in New Hampshire.

We were also treated to a grandparent visit half way through the week.

Due to her age, Sophia was able to participate in more activities this year than her brother, such as archery and painting a snake at the craft shack. However, all four of us did get in a canoe together with the youngest member up in front.

Everyone enjoyed the lake including swimming, wading and playing in the sand. 

And both kids enjoyed the music, with one child jumping on the stage and the other pressed up against it.