If I Worked While You Slept

Dear Sophia,

Recently you slept from 7:30 pm to 7:30 am and then took a 2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon. It was amazing and restorative. If you are reading this as a new Mother- don't fret when the same sleep pattern isn't happening for your own little one- it doesn't with you every night either. 

As I held you before bed the next night, I had this thought that if I worked the night shift, I wouldn't have to miss any of your little life. It was strange that I had this thought, because your energy requires a lot of energy, and it wouldn't be good for either of us if I never slept. Also,time away from others is how I refuel and get stuff done. 

The next morning you heard your Dad leaving for the airport for his work trip at 4:45 am. I laid in bed and counted to 100, hoping that you would go back to sleep and fearing that retrieving you would break the streak of "happy, rested toddler". I brought you into our bed. You became a little teary, saying "I want Dada", when you saw he wasn't there. You said, "Mama, hold you" and then laid very still.

I don't think either of us had fallen back asleep, when all of a sudden these wonderful giggles came pouring out of your very awake self. Maybe if I hadn't had the gift of the prior's night sleep, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the gift I was receiving then. Your sheer delight in being alive and being near me, which bring me great joy as well.

I spent years mulling over how much I would work once I had children, but did not shed a tear when I returned to the office. To this day, I look forward to going to work and coming home. Similar to living the four seasons of the year and looking forward to wearing cozy sweaters and drinking hot chocolate when the summer heat is at its peak, and looking forward to shedding those same sweaters when winter nears its end.


Sophia, you and I are both incredibly fortunate to have five wonderful women taking turns caring for you while I am at the VA Hospital. These women each share their individual gifts with you, and enlarge the circle you can turn to throughout your life. We have both grown to trust others, and have developed our own new skills while apart. I do research at work, and while I am there, you do your own research through play. 

Yet when I daydream about your younger siblings joining our family, I sometimes think about how if they are closer to your age now when we adopt, I will have missed almost two years of their lives. If I worked while they slept, it would almost seem like I could get some of the lost time back.  Then I remind myself that I am actually hoping to miss a large portion of your lives, as it is my desire for you all to out live me by thirty years or so; to continue living the purpose and calling of your lives once I have completed mine. I will be forever grateful that one of the purposes of my life has been caring for you.

Much love,

Your Mama

2nd Birthday Letter

                                             

Every year Joshua writes me a letter for my birthday, which is always my favorite gift. Featured below is Sophia's second birthday letter from her father:

My dearest Sophia (favorite nicknames from this year included: Sweet-Pea, Sweet-one, Sweetie, Little one, and Monkey),

Happy second birthday! It was a historic year for sure, which included the snowiest winter in Boston’s history. But more importantly you are becoming a wonderful and delightful toddler these days. You have experienced a tremendous word explosion over the last few months and hearing you speak in full sentences has been lovely. (You still call yourself “you,” but we will get there. This learning language thing is complicated. I am still working on it myself.)

At the start of the year you had only a couple words and little hair, now you have a full head of hair that curls in the humidity and hundreds of words, with more being added every day. You love singing and dancing in the kitchen, and mechanical things such as figuring out how toys work, building towers, and playing in the small sandbox in our backyard. 

You have no problem leaving us when you have a chance to go play with Kevin, Jesse and Desmond, or Finn and Rowan, or Maggie and Baby Duncan during the week.  You are often simply gleeful when Brit or Carolyn are coming over to take care of you at our home, and you remain one of the most social kids I know.  You love to help cook in the kitchen, and your step stool with a railing from Glen has made it possible for you to “help” wash dishes, pour in ingredients, and stir the food we are making. Your favorite meal is still frozen blueberries with raw oats and milk.

I have to be honest I was slightly worried about surviving your second year. I remember starting the year by taking you downstairs one very early morning (around 3:30 am) and falling asleep on the floor while you continued to play with toys. Luckily for me you eventually got bored and curled up next to me and fell asleep. But by now you are sleeping well most nights, and that has allowed us to fully appreciate the time we get with you. 

I have been so impressed with your compassion, often handing toys to other kids when they are sad, or giving them a hug, and even becoming upset yourself when someone is hurt.  It is a trait that I see in your mother and pray that she and I can continue to cultivate. You are always on the move doing a puzzle (a favorite activity at the moment) or pouring hot tea for guests, or reading book after book. Unlike at your first birthday, where slobber was often left or a head butt exchanged, you have learned the art of a simple goodnight kiss on my cheek, which is pure sugar and often a highlight of my day. Thank you for those.

You have continued to travel widely with us this year, including a trip out of the country to the Dominican Republic, and trips to Georgia, Colorado, North Carolina, Washington DC, Florida, Maine, New York and Louisiana--all on top of trips to see family in New Hampshire, Vermont, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. You continue to be up for almost anything including riding the bus back from the airport late at night when returning from a trip. Your mother and I have been so grateful to you for this.

Your sense of humor has started to emerge, and I look forward to teaching you jokes. You love to scream with joy, swing whenever one is available, and look for the biggest slide to go down.I have treasured the moments we walk around the neighborhood and watch you explore the field and flowers at the John Adams estate around the corner from our house. With all of these in mind, we thank God for the blessing of last year, and look forward to more to celebrate next year.

Love,

Dada

Ten Years

It had been ten years since we had all been together.

We met in college and shared one amazing social work professor. 

Professor Kelly Plosker flew in from Boston to spend the afternoon with us.

After school, two of us remained in Massachusetts, one went back to New York, another back to Oregon, one ventured to Philadelphia, and another to Uganda.

Video Chat with Beckie in Uganda.

We spent a weekend together in Philadelphia 

being tourists,

reconnecting with old friends,

and making new ones.

First Cooking Class

Sophia took her first cooking class, as part of her membership at the South Shore Children's Museum.

The menu included cucumber & cream cheese sandwiches:

And fruit & vegetable skewers:

She practiced her knife skills:

And like any good Chef, tasted for flavor as she cooked:

The final activity was learning to make butter, which involved shaking cream and salt in a plastic bag.

Maggie & Sophia

Maggie is a few months older than Sophia, in a way that feels significant now, but won't at all as they grow older.  

They live about twenty minutes from each other, but get to spend a few hours together just about every week. Maggie was the first female name Sophia said (after Mama).

As soon as the girls see each other, loud giggles ensue.

The majority of Sophia's cousins and acquaintances are boys, so Maggie is one of her few female friends.

Maggie's Mama and I have learned not to tell the girls that they will see each other in advance if we don't want to be asked about it on five minute intervals.

As toddlers tend to do, the ladies often want to eat what is on the other's plate. However, they will also ask that some of their own food is put on the other one's tray.

Until I saw these two together, I didn't realize it was possible to have such a deep friendship at the age of 1. I don't know where Maggie and Sophia's paths will take them, but it is incredible to have the potential to be known by a friend starting with your first year of life.