The First Five Times I Saw You

Dear Sophia,

The first time I ever saw you was when I was six weeks pregnant.

It was earlier than we were supposed to meet and I was scared. I had been having some symptoms that led me to believe you might not still be with me. The ultrasound technician compared your size to a grain of rice. She said the only way to tell if you were going to be ok was to see if you had grown after a week. The first time I saw you I was scared.

A very long week went by and I was still bleeding. Now I was convinced I had lost you. Your Dad brought me to the ultrasound appointment and I told him I didn't want to go. At first I didn't look at the screen, but then I saw this blinking light and it was you! It was your heartbeat and you were ok. The second time I saw you I couldn't stop smiling.

After that we were both healthy and so I didn't see you again until I was 18 weeks pregnant. Your Godparents Glen and Carolyn came to the appointment with your Dad and I, and took us out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. 

It was hard to believe it was really you on the screen. It felt like I was just watching a television show about ultrasounds. The third time I saw you I was convinced that you had your father's nose (and you do!).

The fourth time I saw you was for an "overdue ultrasound appointment". Again they were checking to make sure you were doing ok in there. My Mom (your Gran) was there with me and kept trying to see if you were a girl or a boy, but I told her we had made it this far without knowing and I wanted to wait. What we did find out was that you were going to be close to nine pounds. The fourth time I saw you I didn't know that I would actually get to meet you the very next day.

The fifth time I saw you was on May 22nd, 2013, a few minutes before 11 pm. While you were still attached to me I held you close. I found out you were a girl and your Dad and I quickly discussed whether you would be named Sophia or Elise. It was unanimous between the two of us and we announced your name to the room. The fifth time I saw you I was exhausted and very very happy.