Keeper of the Spark

The responsibility becomes ours. To clothe, to feed, to keep them out of traffic and toxins. Yet the call is beyond keeping them alive. Even as newborns they search our faces to learn what will come from us. As they search for connection, we communicate back....yes, here you will find someone who is on your team.

I try to be mindful of the encouragement I once received to match the light in my child's eyes with that of my own. To fan the flames of awe and wonder that seem to be inherently built into tiny souls and progressively dimmed by the things of this world.

And yet, I still believe my children. I think they're right that mud puddles are worth the mess and that fireflies are worth following.

Another reminder that has been helpful to me is that each negative interaction I have with my child impacts the relationship capital I am building with them over a lifetime. Not just the relationship between us, but how they are learning to relate to anyone. Negative interaction doesn't refer to the necessary yet often unpleasant moments of discipline but rather the instances where hunger, tiredness, anger, stress, fear or general crankiness resulted in my handling of a situation in a way I wish I hadn't. This is not a stronghold for guilt however, because it is always possible to apologize, and I believe that apologizing to our children is one of the most powerful ways to protect their spark.

When our son came home, there was the familiar exhaustion coupled with the sweet simplicity of meeting the basic input and output consumption needs of a baby. The greater challenge in parenting has been recognizing that both of our children belong to God and not to us. This requires that we foster the growth of their persons, not into whom we might choose, but who they already are. To encourage them to let their specific lights shine and to delight in the glow.

I need to be frequently reminded of the verses, Colossians 3:21, "Do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart". And, Psalm 78:4, "We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders."  

As a parent, I have the tasks of teaching, directing and correction, but if I am not mindful of these verses I become an exasperation. I say what not to do, without highlighting the glorious.

Fortunately, both of my children remind me of the much there is to marvel at...."Mama, look at this pinecone....pigeon....

leaf!" Our son who is currently preverbal will point and grunt in awe, urging me to enjoy with him the sound of the train that is going past our house yet again. It is as simple and as hard as taking the time to crouch down beside him, point my finger in line with his and to silently share a smile together.

As pictured above by Sophia with her Nana, I am grateful that many others are partnering with me in being keepers of my children's sparks.