Don't Cry Until You're Hurt

This is one of my favorite people.

This photo was in a frame in my college dorm room, and now it is in the front room of my house. Both places I never knew existed while this man was still alive. 

This is my grandfather and I miss him. And while it seems impossible that he has been gone for almost twenty years, I also know that another 50 with him wouldn't have felt like enough. 

I have never been good with gifts.

Giving or receiving them. 

I still cringe when I think about how every Christmas I gave my Dad yet another tie from the thrift store that he didn't need and probably wouldn't want to wear, or movie tickets that I would also benefit from. They were thoughtless obligatory gifts and when I see something now that makes me think of him, I wish he was here for me to give it to him.

I have a crystal clear memory of my best gift giving moment, which was to this grandfather. It was an elementary school project and it was given in that same sort of thoughtless, obligatory way. He was spending Christmas at our home and I needed something to give  him. When he opened this homemade object (which I don't remember what it was), I can still hear him saying, "Did you make this?, Did you really?" 

The tone was a combination of awe and appreciation.

This same grandfather had a saying, "don't cry until you get hurt". In other words, don't waste your life worrying about a bad thing happening, before it happens. 

When I consider the best gifts in my life (the people), I am trying to approach them with a spirit of "awe and appreciation". You are a wonderful child of God and I appreciate the gift of knowing you for however long I have that privilege. I am trying to not waste any of my time with them by fearing losing them, by crying before I get hurt. Along with unconditional love, this gift is one of the best ones my grandfather gave me.